I know that there are problems in the world. Things like global warming, war in the Middle East, terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, potential mass starvation if the wheat rust infestation spreads.

These things are trivial. I have a major problem.

After spending huge amounts of time and money (well, OK, 45 minutes and two pesos for some red ribbon and a bit of hardware) my highly sophisticated, cleverly engineered, and beautifully constructed hummingbird feeder is not attracting any hummingbirds.

Oh, they'll come and inspect it, giving some attention to the red streamers underneath, even peek into the nectar tray (formerly a sardine can), but then they fly away. I have put a couple of bright red bottle caps in the nectar tray to simulate flower blossoms, to no avail. The nectar is mixed according to the approved recipe, one part sugar to four parts water, boiled to inhibit mold or bacterial growth and to encourage proper blending.

What should I do to encourage the ungrateful little wretches to partake of my nectar generosity?

tanstaafl.