I don't even have words for how f'ed up this one is.

I just got a lovely visit from the NYPD regarding my pretty little phone I bought on amazon this summer.

It's stolen. And posession of it implicates me in a felony (although the very nice group of large men in bullet proof vests assured me they don't think I did anything. As a matter of fact, they seemed surprised by what I looked like when I told them it was me they were looking for.

I however, am out of a phone, and am soon to be low on vodka (trying to get back to that nice relaxing evening at home I was originally planning on.)

If anyone has a phone number for amazon, I'd be quite grateful.