Quote:
Even after acquiring all the codecs I could find I still can't play all of the *ahem* adult oriented content i've downloaded from who knows where on the internet.

Download the K-Lite Codec Pack. I've not had any trouble viewing any of my *ahem* adult oriented content since installing it. It includes Real Alternative, Quicktime Alternative, and Media Player Classic, too. I have some issues with MP Classic, though: it's slow when reading from network drives and it resets its zoom setting with each clip it plays.
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Bitt Faulk